When I finally published my book, my brother called me and said, “I’m really proud of you but I’m not going to read it”. I was confused and admittedly a little hurt, but then he said something that made it make sense. He said, “there’s just some things I don’t want to know”.
That reminded me of some of the reasons people may feel rejected by loved ones when they reach out for help and they don’t get the help they were looking for. There’s a reason mental health professionals continue to be in demand!
I, myself was guilty of this. When I was younger and I got deeply depressed, I’d tell my family like they were supposed to have some magic cure to make me feel better. I was so wrapped up in how I was feeling, I was oblivious to the situation I was creating.
A loved one cannot emotionally detach themselves from you on demand and that is what you’re asking them to do when you lay all your emotions at their feet. It is the lose-lose perfect storm. You’ll likely get one of three outcomes, none of which will help you heal.
One, they give you a hug and tell you it’ll be okay. Two, they will show you tough love and tell you to suck it up. Or three, they will distance themselves from you because they just don’t know what to do.
They have a vested interest in your well being. What I mean by that is how you behave, act and react directly affects them. It would be a near inhuman reaction for them to put the relationship aside and not consider that fact.
So the next time you start to feel rejected by a loved one for not being able to pick you up from where you’ve fallen, please realize they are human too.
Check out the RESOURCES page for help when you need it.
