You have to feel to heal

One of my readers asked me to write an article about the concept of committing suicide slowly. I opted for the immediate suicide solution...

Human isn’t a bad word

For some of us, being flawed seems almost fatal. Whether we make a mistake or someone else makes a mistake that hurts us, we...

A challenge for you

Kindness is contagious!

Was I a fool?

I’ve met people throughout my life that I have trusted, even when there were red flags. I wanted so desperately to see the good...

Finding the hope in hopelessness

When I used to try to explain to people that I was feeling hopeless, they would say to be grateful for what I had,...

Am I being rejected?

A loved one cannot emotionally detach themselves from you on demand and that is what you’re asking them to do when you lay all your emotions at their feet.

How we believe is how we perceive

“How we believe is how we perceive” is a very important and enlightening statement. It was certainly true of my life in the past....

The WHY of mental health:W – What to doH – How...

Growing up is hard and let’s face it, it only gets harder. With each year comes more responsibilities, prices increase more than salaries, kids...

What is in the name – DUOfounded.com?

Why is the web address for my blog www.duofounded.com? One of the things I’ve struggled with since I was very young, like single digit young is how cruel people could be. So “DUO” stands for ‘Do Unto Others’

The boy who shaped my life

It’s amazing what you can retain as a child, even decades later. I was 9. He was 11. We only spent a year together. Then...

Patience is underrated

Patience is underrated, I’ve heard it gets better with age. I haven’t found that to be true yet. Instant gratification is such a part...

Being an enabler

It’s easy to fall in to being an enabler without realizing it but it’s such a disservice to the person you’re enabling. So it’s...

A stranger’s effect

My interaction with him made me remember that everyone comes into your life for a reason.

Redirect your self-fulfilling prophet

We often seem to have these, so called automatic thoughts about ourselves and our lives. When the thoughts translate into working towards healthy goals,...

How to bring calm to chaos

The day before I started a new job, I felt an onslaught of anxiety. What if....

The off switch

If you’re anything like me, then you know what I mean when I say, ‘my brain rarely shuts up’. I know people that can...

I’ve been there

The emotional perfect storm comes rolling in. Depression, anger and anxiety. It overwhelms. It is very hard to explain it to someone that has...

Seeing the good

For most of us, it’s a lot easier to focus on the bad around us because it’s more front and center. Headlines are rarely...

The healing power of pets

I have had cats and dogs almost my whole life, so I thought I would share some of the benefits for those that haven't...

Feeling can be scary

So many of us bury our feelings on a daily basis. There are some reasons for this fact. It could be that we have...

We Matter

I read an article in the paper today. It was about a family in Eastern Kentucky whose house was damaged beyond repair from the...

Toxic is believing when someone failed, they will fail again

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, this person “is a screw-up” or this person “will never succeed”. That creates an incredibly toxic environment. I’ve talked...

Forgiving abuse

There I sat, in the chair across from my therapist and she asked a life changing question. “What would you say to your nine-year-old self?”

Life on hold

So many times we find ourselves putting our life on hold to handle someone else’s drama. We fall into the trap thinking we don’t...

There’s no shortcut to healing

For the majority of people that suffer from mental health illnesses, be it depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc, it is due to some sort of...

Living in survival mode

Someone was trying to explain to me that throughout their life they never “saw” a future. They didn’t mean they didn’t want one or...

What’s keeping you from flourishing?

Something it took me a number of years to realize is what I needed from my environment in order to flourish. I’ve also watched...

Good Morning and Happy Holidays!

I apologize for having been away for so long. I moved, started a new job and had surgery, yada, yada, yada…. I just wanted to...

Coping with stress

One of the most amazing things I realized in my time in therapy is how a therapist can take the most mundane information they...

Depression isn’t a choice. How you deal with it is.

First of all, I am not minimizing anyone’s depressive state. I would never do that, as I myself suffer from depression and have my...

Emotional Projecting: Why it’s harmful

Sometimes we come across people during the course of our lives that can’t deal with the thought of changing themselves so they project their...

Finding the hope in hopelessness

When I used to try to explain to people that I was feeling hopeless, they would say to be grateful for what I had,...

When you’re just feeling “off”

When I woke up this morning, I didn’t feel good or bad. I just felt “off”. I know we all have those days. I...

Therapy: The More We Try To Heal, The Worse It Hurts.

As I’ve discussed before, we have to feel in order to heal. So that explains why “the more we try, the worse it hurts”....

The depression abyss

It is difficult to explain what deep depression is to someone who’s never experienced it. Of course everyone gets sad, but deep depression is...

Scribbling therapy

After my first experience with sexual abuse, I was so hurt, angry and confused. I was a child and didn’t understand what an “outlet”...

Not What I Expected

As a baby, I knew warm hugs and smiles,not yet aware of life’s many trials. My child mind began to understand what I could do,the...

How to trust again, myself and others

Did you know that you can have an abandonment issue without seemingly ever having been abandoned?  I looked back at my life and tried...

Who are you?

Do you know who you are? If you have a significant other, do you know who you are without them? The one thing that unsettled...